Birthday feeling...
It's my birthday on SUNDAY
I feel wiser and not older this year. :) well, will write on 2nd of May.
At the moment I feel like I don't want to celebrate my birthday at all. All I want is to dig under my blanket and to spend all day there, all alone in my room wihtout seeing or hearing from anyone. I don't know why. I just feel this way. It's not the age that bothers me, not at all. I am quite happy to be 25 and be where I am and do what I am doing. I look and feel great...so it is not the age.
I think it is the people that I will celebrtae my bday with...It's the people whom I am not sure about - will they show up or not? I am certain in some people, my true friends but not the rest. I hate thinking and worrying about it. I know I should just relax and enjoy my day with my true friends...but if some people don't show up, it will feel very unapreciated. I get sad when I feel this way. Especially since I've been so helpful with everybody. Birthday is like a lacmus paper - and I think I am afaraid of the lacmus results, that's why I don't want to celebrate it.
I know there won't be any surprise and I think all I need is a simple surprise - like a cake at a very unexpected moment and a "Happy Birthday" song. That's all. And my friends...not just co-workers...but my real friends, who hopefully will be there.
I mean how pathetic can it be that I don't even know what to do on my bday yet? It's this Sunday and I still don't know. There are two plans: the 1st one is to have a BBQ in the park (if the weather allows) and plan B (most probably to happen) dinner at "Chi" a very nice place...shall I book it already? Oh...how I don't want to deal with all this.
Ok. Just one dinner with friends and co-workers. Should be fine. Should not be so bad.
I feel wiser and not older this year. :) well, will write on 2nd of May.
At the moment I feel like I don't want to celebrate my birthday at all. All I want is to dig under my blanket and to spend all day there, all alone in my room wihtout seeing or hearing from anyone. I don't know why. I just feel this way. It's not the age that bothers me, not at all. I am quite happy to be 25 and be where I am and do what I am doing. I look and feel great...so it is not the age.
I think it is the people that I will celebrtae my bday with...It's the people whom I am not sure about - will they show up or not? I am certain in some people, my true friends but not the rest. I hate thinking and worrying about it. I know I should just relax and enjoy my day with my true friends...but if some people don't show up, it will feel very unapreciated. I get sad when I feel this way. Especially since I've been so helpful with everybody. Birthday is like a lacmus paper - and I think I am afaraid of the lacmus results, that's why I don't want to celebrate it.
I know there won't be any surprise and I think all I need is a simple surprise - like a cake at a very unexpected moment and a "Happy Birthday" song. That's all. And my friends...not just co-workers...but my real friends, who hopefully will be there.
I mean how pathetic can it be that I don't even know what to do on my bday yet? It's this Sunday and I still don't know. There are two plans: the 1st one is to have a BBQ in the park (if the weather allows) and plan B (most probably to happen) dinner at "Chi" a very nice place...shall I book it already? Oh...how I don't want to deal with all this.
Ok. Just one dinner with friends and co-workers. Should be fine. Should not be so bad.
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