FUTKT
A scar on my knee is nothing compare to the scar on my heart...I looked my demons in the eyes. And sorry must be the hardest word for real.
I guess I will never understand how such a beautiful creature can be so mean and evil. So self-centered and so vindictive. Why would I put myself through this again and again? Why wouldn't I stop everything right there and right then? Hope is such a useless feeling. Nobody can change.
Another ended story. Another ugly end. A finish line you never want to get to.
I need a shelter. My own shelter. I guess I am back to smoking. Wine will be my best friend for a while now.
Still waiting for the green Jeep to stop by my door. How pathetic. Why can my heart forgive so easely? Where is my self-respect? Feeling so empty. So miserable.
I need three more days. These three days will be longest...may be even more than three days?
Noone's kisses will help me heal. Nobody's touch will help these wounds. Her hair will I miss. Her smile will I long after. Her body all over me at nights will I lack. Her laugh will be my favourite music. Lost music I will never hear. Her reservness.
It's time to let it go. Wind in my face, sun on my dry skin. Will it all help? I am lost. Again. Naturally. But I guess it is for my own best. I have to remember every single swear word used towards me, not to give in again. I have to never forget. Never. And I will never forget her. I will never forget the good. Scars. Ugh.
I guess I will never understand how such a beautiful creature can be so mean and evil. So self-centered and so vindictive. Why would I put myself through this again and again? Why wouldn't I stop everything right there and right then? Hope is such a useless feeling. Nobody can change.
Another ended story. Another ugly end. A finish line you never want to get to.
I need a shelter. My own shelter. I guess I am back to smoking. Wine will be my best friend for a while now.
Still waiting for the green Jeep to stop by my door. How pathetic. Why can my heart forgive so easely? Where is my self-respect? Feeling so empty. So miserable.
I need three more days. These three days will be longest...may be even more than three days?
Noone's kisses will help me heal. Nobody's touch will help these wounds. Her hair will I miss. Her smile will I long after. Her body all over me at nights will I lack. Her laugh will be my favourite music. Lost music I will never hear. Her reservness.
It's time to let it go. Wind in my face, sun on my dry skin. Will it all help? I am lost. Again. Naturally. But I guess it is for my own best. I have to remember every single swear word used towards me, not to give in again. I have to never forget. Never. And I will never forget her. I will never forget the good. Scars. Ugh.
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