Saying goodbye to 2009

Before New Years I usually think about what have been done, achieved, missed...just as everybody else, I guess. End of the year usually makes you feel sad and happy at the same time, dream about miracles, wish for the impossible things to happen and believe that next year everything will definitely be different....

Looking back, I think that I've achieved a lot this year. I could do more of course, but you know, laziness, lack of time...lack of motivation...and again it will be different next year...but if we look back and just remember what I went through:

I had 3 jobs (thank God that my 3rd job was a good one so I stick with it.) The first one was a crappy job with crappy money, but I needed it not for it, but only just to go somewhere out of home and not to think about my broken heart. Of course every time I came back home I could not stop the tears...but then I would just need to go to sleep, and go to work again the next day...I just had to live somehow.

My second job - teaching English in a state high and middle schools. It was meant to be, and I am so happy it happened to me. I absolutely fell in love with all the children (some fell in love with me : ) )  and I think it was children who brought me back to life...not to mention a romantic period that happened during that time. It was short but awaking...

And finally in June I unexpectedly got a job offer which was worth moving to Moscow.  I am glad I've moved. One day I was just brushing my teeth and looked around at everything that I've bought for myself and it hit me - I am independent and pay for evrth I need,  including apartment. It was a great feeling, a feeling of being an adult. This job helped me to meet lots of new people, sightsee in Moscow, do something extraordinary (I will spare the details here) and see how much I appreciate and miss home.

The most important - I was one of those lucky (or shall I say smart) people who were chosen by Fulbright programme (50 out of 700) and now we are getting ready to go to the US for 2 years, I will be getting MA in broadcast journalism...god only knows how many nights I had to study for those endless exams...and still do - important dates: 16 of Jan 2010 and 4th of Feb 2010. Hopefully these are the last exams I have to take and God, please, help me with GRE.

And most importantly I now know for sure that everything happens for a reason in your life, what is meant to be, will happen, what is not - won't ever, no matter how hard you try it. It is sometimes hard to accept the truth, but in the end you just don't have any other choice. It is also comforting to know that no matter how hard you "fall" you are very very lucky if you have family and friends who can be your sort of safety net and catch you, help you to stand up and watch you walk.  I am so lucky to have these people in my life...

What will 2010 bring? I have no idea, it is a total mystery...and I love it! I hope to get accepted by a good University in the States...and I think I am ready to welcome someone in my heart...we'll see : )

I wish to myself a very happy new year day and a great 2010! And of course to those who've read this long msg.